The Pain of Neglect

"But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee:" (Luke 12:20a)

I never paid much attention to that verse until this past New Year's Eve when I received a phone call about 4 am telling me that my baby brother had passed away (I never have understood why people say "lost" when someone dies. They're not lost. You know exactly where they are. God merely issued a "change-of-address").

You see, we never visited each other or talked to each other very much- not just with my little brother, but my other siblings too. Oh, we saw each other on the obligatory family events and holidays, but we usually never saw or spoke to each other in between times. I don't know about my siblings, but I know I made a dozen excuses.

"I'll call (visit) when I'm not so busy."

"I'll do more calling (visiting) once I retire.

"We just can't get our schedules together."

"He works odd hours and I never know when to call (visit)"

There was always a "reason" why I stayed uninvolved in the lives of my brothers and sister. After all, there would always be tomorrow. We're all still young and will have plenty of time later.

Always later. Always tomorrow. Always waiting for the next holiday to "catch up."

I learned New Year's Eve what a fool I had been...how much I had lost. I discovered that while I knew a lot about Tommy as a teenager and a child, I knew little or nothing about the years after his marriage to my sister-in-law. I had to attend his funeral to learn that he had sold cars and cemetery plots. I am ashamed to say I didn't know that. As I listened to his best friend give the eulogy, I learned more about my brother than I had in the past 20 years. I had been so caught up in my own life, I never bothered to find out about his.

Since his death, I am trying harder to keep in touch with my siblings. We all have facebook pages and we try to keep up that way. Even my nieces, nephews, my children and their families have home pages. That helps some. And I always talk to Mom at least once a week.

We just never know about these things. A wise man once said to plan like you'll live forever and live like there is no tomorrow. That is what God said in this verse. That's the point I missed in my piety about not storing up treasures in this world and jokes about no U-Hauls behind hearses.

I got the message too late for Tommy. Life doesn't give "do-overs". It does, however, allow second chances. Don't miss our second chance to say the things we always wanted to say to our loved ones or to become as familiar with their life as we are with the lives of people on reality TV shows.

I only had one baby brother and I missed his life. Please don't make my mistake.